
If a picture is worth a thousand words then a parking meter is worth a thousand dollars. My frustration with parking meters came up once before in an earlier assignment and continues to gripe me everytime I drive into the city (which is every other day). NYC parking is a nightmare to begin with. NYC parking rules are meant to confuse you and extract money from your pockets. NYC parking signs are logically backwards because they tell you when you "Can't Park" or when you "Can't Stand". How about telling me when I "Can Park". And sometimes you have up to 4 of these parking signs stacked on top of each other telling you all these different hours of the day and night that you "Can't Park" and you are left there looking like an illiterate because you can't figure out when you finally "Can". And if you mess up you're toast. Best case scenario for messing up is that you have a $115 ticket on your windshield. If you don't get your car out of there within a certain amount of time you will find not one, but two parking tickets for the same violation. Two parking tickets then constitutes the right to tow your car away. If you want your car back, then you are going to have to pay about $500 for the cost of those two tickets and the cost of towing. Oh, one more thing that I forgot to mention about parking in NYC is that NYC drivers will stab you in the eye over a parking spot. Ok Greg, so what am I supposed to do, not drive into the city at all? No, I am not saying that. NYC parking is a system, and once you get familiarized with that system it's still pretty bad, but it's manageable. Hey, I've been doing it for the past 8 years. For starters, don't even think about driving in to the City during the day or you'll end up driving around for hours looking for a place to legally squeeze your big SUV ass into. What about parking garages? They advertise $8.95 up to 1/2 hour. What the heck does that mean anyway? If I think it means what I think it means then that's a useless rip-off. But not to worry, after 6pm you're pretty much safe to find a decent parking spot because that's when most of the local streets open up to curbside parking. Some of those red-colored "No Standing" signs are also usually good to park under, but only after 7pm. But be forwarned, you do not want to arrive into the city too late. After 8pm things get kind of tricky and you might find that these freshly available spots have been all filled up by other parking-savvy drivers. Once that happens it's back to a game of "circle around the block" or "double park and wait for someone to leave", whichever one works for you. But wait! There's one more option for the desperate driver, it's the great NYC parking meter. Wow, what a great invention! This is the worst thing in America. Simply put, parking meters are evil. Did you know it's illegal to feed someone else's meter? Why? "What's the significance? I - don't - knowwwwwwwwww!" - (Pee-wee Herman).
Why is the parking meter frustrating?
The parking meter is frustrating because it is a wicked instrument of evil that is very picky. It is picky because it can only be activated by quarters. Generally, I don't have 6 quarters in my pocket at all times just in case I need to pay for 1-hour's worth of parking. So I have to get change from reluctant business owners who swear they don't have any. If they don't have any quarters then how do they conduct business? Next time some guy in a store tells me they don't have any quarters I'm going to ask if I can check. A block with parking meters makes quarters a rare and magical commodity. Another annoyance is that most parking meters are only for 1-hour. Why? Why do I have to say, "Excuse me, I'll be right back. I gotta feed the meter"? I'll tell you why. It's not a conspiracy, it' just another aspect of the NYC parking system. The NYC DOT knows that most appointments take a little longer than an hour. And if you are even one second late you will have to pay for it. Traffic cops will wait for your meter to expire and as soon as it blinks red, their pen will hit the paper and when that happens my friends, it's too late for conversation and your left with nothing but lintballs in your pockets. The final grievance I have with parking meters is that they malfunction and steal those precious, magical quarters. One more than one occasion I have dumped 75 cents into a parking meter only to realize that my parking time was not increasing past the 10 minute mark. Did I ever get my money back? Noooooooooo!
The abilities required to operate the parking meter are Motor/Physical because one needs to use their hands and mechanically grasp a quarter between their thumb & index finger, aim it into and push it inside a thin slot, all while trying hard not to drop it down & between the subway grating. The Visual aspect is almost not worth mentioning because it is so obviously dependent on your vision. You have to find an available parking spot with a meter and be able to read how much time is left on it. The meter also blinks either green or red to indicate whether or not there is time left on the meter. This blinking indicator is not for your convenience, it's just a redflag for the traffic cops. The Cognitive aspect of this technology is being able to look at how much time you have left on your meter and add that to the current time on your watch in order to figure out the final time of day that you have to get back to your car to refeed the evil, quarter sucking beast.